I tried to find a dinosaur.
I started in my yard.
I dug and dug for days and days.
The work was long and hard.
I dug through dirt and mud and muck.
I dug through rocks and soil.
My arms grew sore. My legs grew weak
from all the sweat and toil.
I shoveled tons of gravel out.
I moved a bunch of stones,
until, at last, to my surprise,
I found some fossil bones.
I put the bones together in
my bedroom on the floor.
When I was done, those bones had formed
a half a dinosaur.
My parents weren’t too happy when
I told them of my goal.
I found a half a dinosaur,
but then they found the hole.
My ugly pug’s a snuggly pug.
He likes to snuggle on the rug.
He such a huggy cuddle-bug.
He snuggles all day long.
But though my pug’s a cuddle-bug
who likes to nuzzle up and hug,
my pug is still an ugly pug.
His yucky mug is wrong.
My dog’s name is “Cat”
and my cat’s name is “Dog.”
My frog’s name is “Mouse”
and my mouse is called “Frog.”
My bird’s name is “Fish”
and my fish is called “Bird.”
I know that you probably
think that’s absurd.
It’s just a tradition
my family has had.
My dad’s name is “Mom”
and my mom’s name is “Dad.”
My cat knows karate.
My frog knows kung fu.
My poodle knows judo.
My turtle does too.
They all became black belts
by watching TV;
some Chuck Norris movies,
and films with Bruce Lee.
They liked learning lessons
from Jean-Claude Van Damme,
and acting like action-film star
Jackie Chan.
They practiced their punches,
their blocks, and their kicks
until they were masters
of martial arts tricks.
You’d think they’d be good now
at guarding our house,
but, yesterday morning,
they ran from my mouse.
My mouse is a crack-up.
I laughed at his prank.
Do you think it’s weird that
my mouse drives a tank?
Down on the ocean floor,
Deep in the sea,
Everybody’s dancing.
Ready? ONE, TWO, THREE!
Barracuda boogies
With the octopus and eel.
Sea horse does a square dance
With the salmon and the seal.
Jiggle goes the jellyfish.
Shimmy goes the snake.
Watch the lobster limbo
And the sea snail shake.
Everybody’s dancing in the
deep, deep dark.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes the shark!
Where did everybody go?
He heard the music play.
He must have missed the party.
They must have gone away.
Shark is all alone upon
This underwater shelf.
That’s alright! Shark is happy
Dancing by himself.
Shark begins to shuffle.
Shark begins to spin.
He flutters with his flipper
And he wiggles with his fin.
He doesn’t look so scary.
He wants to party too!
So barracuda joins him
for a bouncy boogaloo.
Jellyfish then joins in.
So do octopus and eel.
Snake returns to shimmy
With the sea horse and the seal.
Everybody’s dancing
From the salmon to the snail.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes killer whale!
I took my doggy for a walk.
I thought it would be fun.
The moment that we got outside
he took off at a run.
I gripped the handle of his leash.
It instantly pulled tight.
My dog was strong. He ran so fast
I practically took flight.
He pulled me through the neighborhood.
(My doggy likes to roam.)
I bumped and bounced and banged around
until he ran back home.
So now I’m bruised and battered
like a ratty, tattered rag.
I took my doggy for a walk.
He took me for a drag.
I purchased a virtual puppy.
He lives in an app on my phone.
He digs in a virtual garden
to bury a virtual bone.
I feed him with virtual dog food.
I’m teaching him virtual tricks,
like giving me virtual handshakes
and fetching his virtual sticks.
He naps on a virtual sofa.
He likes to chase virtual cats.
Whenever he’s good I reward him
with virtual dog treats and pats.
He’ll bring me the virtual paper.
He’ll chew on a virtual shoe.
There’s only one virtual problem.
I clean up his virtual poo.
I bought a black banana,
And a broken baseball bat.
A burst balloon, a busted boat,
A beat-up bowler hat.
I wasn’t being brainy, bright,
or brilliant, but you see,
My brain was boggled after
Being bitten by a bee.
I rode a rainbow unicorn.
We sailed across the sky.
(I’d fed him lots of Skittles,
since they always make him fly.)
We took off like a comet
on a long and graceful flight.
And everywhere the people stopped
and marveled at the sight.
His path was bright and colorful.
It sparkled, shimmered, shined,
as he arced across the heavens
shooting rainbows from behind.
My frog recycles all his trash.
He eats organic food.
He cares for the environment.
He’s quite the hipster dude.
Reduce, reuse, recycle
is the motto of my frog.
He drives a solar-powered car
to cut back on the smog.
He helps endangered species and
opposes climate change.
He knows that, since he’s just a frog,
this might seem kind of strange.
But still he does his very best
to keep our planet clean.
He thinks it’s only natural.
He’s proud of being green.
I Tried to Find a Dinosaur
My Ugly Pug
My Dog’s Name Is “Cat”
My Cat Knows Karate
Deep Sea Dance
I Took My Doggy for a Walk
My Virtual Puppy
To B or Not to B
I Rode a Rainbow Unicorn
My Frog Recycles All His Trash
