Topic: Animal

To B or Not to B


I bought a black banana,
And a broken baseball bat.
A burst balloon, a busted boat,
A beat-up bowler hat.

I wasn’t being brainy, bright,
or brilliant, but you see,
My brain was boggled after
Being bitten by a bee.

I Rode a Rainbow Unicorn

I rode a rainbow unicorn.
We sailed across the sky.
(I’d fed him lots of Skittles,
since they always make him fly.)

We took off like a comet
on a long and graceful flight.
And everywhere the people stopped
and marveled at the sight.

His path was bright and colorful.
It sparkled, shimmered, shined,
as he arced across the heavens
shooting rainbows from behind.

My Frog Recycles All His Trash

My frog recycles all his trash.
He eats organic food.
He cares for the environment.
He’s quite the hipster dude.

Reduce, reuse, recycle
is the motto of my frog.
He drives a solar-powered car
to cut back on the smog.

He helps endangered species and
opposes climate change.
He knows that, since he’s just a frog,
this might seem kind of strange.

But still he does his very best
to keep our planet clean.
He thinks it’s only natural.
He’s proud of being green.

Don’t Think About a Zebra

dont-think-about-a-zebra

Don’t think about a zebra
no matter what you do,
for, if you ever think of one,
then soon you’ll think of two.

And, after that, you’ll think of three.
And then you’ll think of four.
Then five or six or seven zebras.
Maybe even more.

And then you’ll think of zebra herds
stampeding down the street,
and zebras wearing tutus,
disco-dancing to a beat.

You’ll think of flying ninja zebras
practicing kung fu.
And zebra clowns from outer space.
And robot zebras too.

And zebras in pajama bottoms
bouncing on their beds,
and maybe even zebras
wearing diapers on their heads.

You’ll wish you’d never thought of them,
so do it starting now:
Don’t think about a zebra.
Only think about a cow.

My Hat Is Full of Rabbits

my-hat-is-full-of-rabbits

My hat is full of rabbits.
My cape is full of doves.
A playing card is up my sleeve,
and some are in my gloves.

A wand is in my pocket
with handkerchiefs and flowers.
My coat has things like ropes and rings
with mystifying powers.

I have my staff and juggling clubs,
my mirrors, cups, and dice,
my crystal ball, my smoke machine,
and fancy dancing mice.

I’m ready for my magic show.
There’s just one problem here…
My elephant is on my lap
and will not disappear.

My Sheep Is Being Sheepish

my-sheep-is-being-sheepish

My sheep is being sheepish.
My cat is acting catty.
My horse, of course, is sort of hoarse.
My bat’s completely batty.

My chicken’s plainly chicken.
My hare is fairly hairy.
My cuckoo’s truly cuckoo.
My mare is mainly merry.

My fish is frankly fishy,
and so my flea is fleeing.
My slug is somewhat sluggish.
My bee is simply being.

I have so many animals
and this is how they’re feeling,
except for one, who’s tons of fun:
My seal is on the ceiling.

I Fix My Duck with Duct Tape

I fix my duck with duct tape
when she breaks. That’s what I do.
If my gorilla has a crack
I use Gorilla Glue.

My monkey needs a monkey wrench
just every now and then.
And chicken wire is what I use
to mend my broken hen.

For snails, I use nails,
and, for penguins, I use pins.
For fish, I’m fond of fish paste
for fixing fractured fins.

So bring your broken beasts;
I’ll give them tender loving care,
and make them good as new at my
stuffed animal repair.

I Met a Lonely Octopus

i-met-a-lonely-octopus

I met a lonely octopus
while sitting on a docktopus
and he began to talktopus
and this is what he said:

“Hello, my name is Jacquestopus.
I’d like to take a walktopus
perhaps around the blocktopus
or to the park instead.”

I didn’t mean to gawktopus,
but I was in such shocktopus
to meet a talking octopus,
I must have lost my head.

It seems I socked poor Jacquestopus
and knocked him off the docktopus,
and so that talking octopus
got fairly scared, and fled.

I hope someday that Jacquestopus
forgives me for the socktopus
and comes back to the docktopus
where he can meet my croctopus
who says his name is Fred.

My Cow Bess

I’d like to introduce you to my cow.
Her name is Bess.
She has a special talent that
I know you’d never guess.

She’s fond of eating chocolate
which I feed her every day.
The chocolate makes her happy so
she starts to swing and sway.

She jiggles and she joggles.
She wiggles and she whirls.
She boogies and she bounces.
She taps and twists and twirls.

She shivers and she shudders.
She quivers and she quakes.
I feed her chocolate candy and
she gives me chocolate shakes.