I’m Frank, the friendly alien.
From deepest outer space.
My face is fairly friendly.
It’s such a friendly face.
My teeth are sharp and pointed.
My eyes are big and red.
I have such friendly features
upon my friendly head.
My horns are green and shiny.
I have exactly three.
My nose is long and crooked,
the way a nose should be.
My ears are huge and scaly.
My tongue is brown and blue.
The people from my planet
all look friendly like I do.
My claws are shaped like daggers.
My hands are huge and hairy
I’d love to stay and tell you more
but you look much too scary.
Down on the ocean floor,
Deep in the sea,
Everybody’s dancing.
Ready? ONE, TWO, THREE!
Barracuda boogies
With the octopus and eel.
Sea horse does a square dance
With the salmon and the seal.
Jiggle goes the jellyfish.
Shimmy goes the snake.
Watch the lobster limbo
And the sea snail shake.
Everybody’s dancing in the
deep, deep dark.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes the shark!
Where did everybody go?
He heard the music play.
He must have missed the party.
They must have gone away.
Shark is all alone upon
This underwater shelf.
That’s alright! Shark is happy
Dancing by himself.
Shark begins to shuffle.
Shark begins to spin.
He flutters with his flipper
And he wiggles with his fin.
He doesn’t look so scary.
He wants to party too!
So barracuda joins him
for a bouncy boogaloo.
Jellyfish then joins in.
So do octopus and eel.
Snake returns to shimmy
With the sea horse and the seal.
Everybody’s dancing
From the salmon to the snail.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes killer whale!
I took my doggy for a walk.
I thought it would be fun.
The moment that we got outside
he took off at a run.
I gripped the handle of his leash.
It instantly pulled tight.
My dog was strong. He ran so fast
I practically took flight.
He pulled me through the neighborhood.
(My doggy likes to roam.)
I bumped and bounced and banged around
until he ran back home.
So now I’m bruised and battered
like a ratty, tattered rag.
I took my doggy for a walk.
He took me for a drag.
I’m Random Miranda.
Bananas are good.
Remember the alphabet.
Dinosaurs would.
The things that I tell you,
may seem rather strange,
but that’s just because
here’s a dollar in change.
And next week I’m going to
isn’t this fun?
So never let anyone
hamburger bun.
If maybe you’re wondering
what’s going on,
please let me explain it.
The milk is all gone.
When doing your homework
that man is a spy.
I’m happy to see you.
Just give it a try.
This pencil is purple
and everyone should.
Your dad is a doughnut.
Bananas are good.
This may seem bizarre but
it’s just what I do.
I’m Random Miranda,
so thanks for the shoe.
I’m lonely, so lonely.
I’m always alone.
I never get emails
or calls on my phone.
I sit by myself
in my room every day,
and wonder why nobody
wants to go play.
My classmates avoid me.
They never say, “hi.”
They don’t seem to know
I’m a wonderful guy.
And even the strangers
I see on the street
go out of their way
to make sure we don’t meet.
They jump and they run
to get out of my path.
I guess maybe this year
I’ll take my first bath.
I can’t get enough of this Pokémon Go.
The fever is on me
and starting to grow.
This game is amazing!
I thought you should know.
There’s nothing I want to do more.
I play on the playground.
I play in the park.
I play in the daytime.
I play after dark.
I’m constantly playing,
but I should remark
this game sure is making me sore.
While playing today
I ran into a wall.
I stumbled and fell down
the stairs at the mall.
I tripped on the street and
had such a bad fall,
I probably fractured my toe.
My forehead is hurting.
My bottom feels bad.
This tripping and falling
is making me mad.
The game is amazing,
but maybe I’ve had
enough of this Pokémon Go.
1. Get yourself a mirror
and some brushes
and some paint.
2. Paint the mirror
where your face is.
Don’t paint where it ain’t.
My favorite food is broccoli.
I eat it every day.
There isn’t any other food
that makes me feel this way.
It makes me feel so healthy.
It makes me look so cute.
But, mostly, I like broccoli
because it makes me toot.
My smartphone isn’t very smart.
In fact, it’s rather dumb.
It’s dumber than a doorknob
or a piece of chewing gum.
It used to be so awesome,
but now my phone is lame.
It cannot surf the Internet.
It cannot play a game.
It can’t take any pictures.
It can’t install an app.
It can’t look up my email
or an address on a map.
It won’t play any music.
It cannot calculate.
It won’t bring up a calendar
to show the time or date.
It cannot send a message.
It cannot make a call.
It’s safe to say my smartphone
won’t do anything at all.
It wasn’t always like this.
Perhaps you’ll take a peek?
I don’t know why it acts like this.
I charged it just last week!
I tried to ride a skateboard.
I fell and scraped my knee.
I tried to ride a bicycle.
I crashed into a tree.
I tried to ride a scooter.
I landed on my chin.
I tried to ride a unicycle;
lost a bit of skin.
I even tried a tricycle
but ran into a wall.
I’m happy in this wheelchair now.
I never fall at all.
Frank the Friendly Alien
Deep Sea Dance
I Took My Doggy for a Walk
Random Miranda
I’m Lonely, So Lonely
I Can’t Get Enough of this Pokémon Go
Instructions for Painting a Self-Portrait
My Favorite Food Is Broccoli
My Smartphone Isn’t Very Smart
I Tried to Ride a Skateboard
