One warm, sunny day
on a cold, snowy night,
the inky-black darkness
was sunny and bright.
The evening that morning–
that midnight at noon–
was late in December,
one April in June.
I stood where I sat
as I ran, lying still,
deep down in a valley
on top of a hill.
The people beside me
were nowhere around.
The birds in the sky were
all deep underground.
The fish in the tree
were asleep in their nest,
and watched the sun set
as it rose in the west.
Yes, that’s what I saw
when my eyes were closed tight,
one warm, sunny day
on a cold, snowy night.
My mirror likes to argue.
He likes to fight and feud.
He often disagrees with me.
He’s regularly rude.
He’s fond of making faces.
He loves to sneer and scowl.
And, if I scream and shout at him,
he’ll holler, hoot, and howl.
I wish I’d never met him.
I wish he’d go away.
I wish I didn’t chance upon him
several times a day.
I think perhaps the next time
he starts to disagree,
I’ll smile at him to see if maybe
he’ll be nice to me.
I’m Random Miranda.
Bananas are good.
Remember the alphabet.
Dinosaurs would.
The things that I tell you,
may seem rather strange,
but that’s just because
here’s a dollar in change.
And next week I’m going to
isn’t this fun?
So never let anyone
hamburger bun.
If maybe you’re wondering
what’s going on,
please let me explain it.
The milk is all gone.
When doing your homework
that man is a spy.
I’m happy to see you.
Just give it a try.
This pencil is purple
and everyone should.
Your dad is a doughnut.
Bananas are good.
This may seem bizarre but
it’s just what I do.
I’m Random Miranda,
so thanks for the shoe.
There was a man who coughed a cough,
a cough so strong his head fell off.
His head fell off. It hit the ground.
It hit the ground and rolled around,
and rolled around and rolled away,
away into a field of hay,
a field of hay that caused a wheeze,
a wheeze that turned into a sneeze,
a sneeze he sneezed from dusk till dawn.
At dawn he sneezed his head back on.
1. Get yourself a mirror
and some brushes
and some paint.
2. Paint the mirror
where your face is.
Don’t paint where it ain’t.
It’s raining in my bedroom.
It’s been this way all week.
I think the upstairs neighbor’s plumbing
might have sprung a leak.
They may be on vacation.
They must be out of town.
And, all the while, my bedroom rain
continues pouring down.
My shoes have gotten soggy.
My bed is growing mold.
A pond is forming on my floor.
It’s all so wet and cold,
that frogs have started spawning.
An otter wandered through
with salmon splashing upstream,
and some guy in a canoe.
Now waves are growing larger.
The weather’s turning grim.
A tide is rising rapidly.
I’m glad that I can swim.
My parents called the plumber.
He’s nowhere to be seen.
Does anybody know where I
can buy a submarine?
Shorty Small
was very tall
despite his humble name.
In fact, his height
was quite a sight,
and Shorty’s claim to fame.
Yes, Shorty Small
was so, so tall,
to reach to comb his hair,
he’d have to climb,
for quite some time,
a ladder way up there.
To tie his shoes,
he had to use
a rope or knotted sheet
to clamber down
toward the ground
to even reach his feet.
And that is all
of Shorty Small
that’s worthy to report.
For, overall,
although he’s tall,
his tale is rather short.
I grew a foot this summer
and I wish it wasn’t true.
I’m not twelve inches taller,
I just need an extra shoe.
Gordon’s garden’s started growing
unexpected things,
and though it sounds unusual
they all have beaks and wings.
His garden grew a hummingbird,
a heron, and a hawk,
a pelican, a parakeet,
a pigeon, and an auk.
It grew a cuckoo and a crow,
an ostrich and an owl,
an eagle and an egret
and assorted other fowl.
A mockingbird, an oriole,
a chicken and a duck.
It’s fun to watch his garden grow,
and chirp, and flap, and cluck.
It turns out growing gardens
full of birds is not so hard,
and Gordon got his crop
by planting birdseed in the yard.
I went to the doctor. He x-rayed my head.
He stared for a moment and here’s what he said.
“It looks like you’ve got a banana in there,
an apple, an orange, a peach, and a pear.
I also see something that looks like a shoe,
a plate of spaghetti, some fake doggy doo,
an airplane, an arrow, a barrel, a chair,
a salmon, a camera, some old underwear,
a penny, a pickle, a pencil, a pen,
a hairy canary, a hammer, a hen,
a whistle, a thistle, a missile, a duck,
an icicle, bicycle, tricycle, truck.
With all of the junk that you have in your head
it’s kind of amazing you got out of bed.
The good news, at least, is you shouldn’t feel pain.
From what I can see here you don’t have a brain.”
One Warm, Sunny Day
My Mirror Likes to Argue
Random Miranda
The Cough
It’s Raining in My Bedroom
The Tall Tale of Shorty Small
I Grew a Foot this Summer
Gordon’s Garden
That Explains It!
