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How to Write a Clerihew

You’re going to love learning how to write clerihews. Why? Because clerihews are funny poems you write about specific people. That means when you learn to write a clerihew, you can instantly write funny poems about your parents, your teacher, your favorite movie star, your best friend, your pet, or anyone else you can think of. The clerihew was created by a poet named Edmund Clerihew Bentley (and named after himself!) when he was just 16 years old, proving you don’t have to be old to invent a new kind of poem.

Clerihews have just a few simple rules:

  1. They are four lines long.
  2. The first and second lines rhyme with each other, and the third and fourth lines rhyme with each other.
  3. The first line names a person, and the second line ends with something that rhymes with the name of the person.
  4. A clerihew should be funny.

That’s it! You don’t have to worry about counting syllables or words, and you don’t even have to worry about the rhythm of the poem.

Let’s look at an example. Let’s say your art teacher was named Mr. Shaw, and you wanted to write a clerihew about him. You might start your clerihew like this:

Our art teacher, Mr. Shaw,
Really knows how to draw.

Notice that the first line ends with the name of the person the clerihew is about, Mr. Shaw. The second line ends with “draw” because it rhymes with “Shaw.”

To finish the clerihew, you need to write two more rhyming lines. In a well-written clerihew, those next two lines will make the poem funny, like this:

Our art teacher, Mr. Shaw,
Really knows how to draw.
But his awful paintings
Have caused many faintings.

You don’t have to limit yourself to writing clerihews about people you know. You can write clerihews about people you have never met. A clerihew will work best, though, if you write it about someone who is well known, or who at least is known to the people who will read it.

For example, if I wrote a clerihew about my aunt Norma, that might not mean anything to you. But it might work very well if I planned to share it only with my family. On the other hand, if I wrote a clerihew about a famous musician, it might be funny to many more people. Here is an example of a clerihew about some well-known singers:

The music of Katy Perry
Is kind of scary.
I heard it and sniffed,
“I much prefer Taylor Swift.”

And you don’t have to limit your clerihews to real people. You can even write clerihews about characters from books, movies, comics, cartoons, etc. Here’s an example of a clerihew about a character from a book:

The enemy of Harry Potter
Was a scheming plotter.
I can’t tell you what he’s called; I’d be ashamed
To name “he who must not be named.”

So you see, clerihews are short, easy to write and can be about any person or character, real or not. They can be about people you know, people you don’t know, or even about animals, cartoon characters, rock groups, or anyone else you can think of.

Just remember, put the person’s name at the end of the first line, rhyme it at the end of the second line, and then write two more rhyming lines that make it funny, and you’re done. Have fun!

Clerihew writing worksheet for kids

Click here to download a clerihew writing worksheet

Kenn Nesbitt
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Thrills, Chills, and Laughs in the Classroom

Trick or Treat

Of all the holidays that we celebrate each year, Halloween is the one with the greatest potential for sparking the imagination. Kids (and let’s be honest, quite a few adults, too) are thinking about the costume they’ll wear, long before the actual night. And it’s easy to get everyone excited about making fun decorations for the classroom and elsewhere.

Witches, goblins, superheroes, and cartoon characters meet Jack o’Lanterns, fangs, and zombies in a festival of the unreal and the fantastic. (Not to mention all the free candy!) It’s the perfect opportunity to round up some of that bubbling excitement, and turn it into poetic fun! Here are a few ideas for the Scary Season, activities that are easily adaptable for most age-groups.

My Parents Sent Me to the Store

For quite some time I’ve wanted to create animated videos of my poems. Here is the first in what I hope will be a long series of videos, “My Parents Sent Me to the Store.”

Note: If you’d like to read along with the poem, click on the “cc” button at the bottom of the video once it starts playing.

Boney Mahoney

I’m Boney Mahoney,
the Skeleton Singer.
I’m known for harmonious tones.
I’ll croon to the tune of
a jaw harp or hand drum.
I’ll trill to the sound of trombones.

To have me start humming
just tickle the ivories.
I’ll sing if you finger a bell.
I’ll rap if you slap at
a washboard or rattle.
I’m hip to the nose flute as well.

If you’re a musician
in search of a singer,
give Boney Mahoney a call.
But find someone else if
you only play organ;
I sing with no organs at all.

Left Brain, Right Brain, and the Power of Poetry

Left Brain, Right Brain, and the Power of Poetry

It’s unfortunate but true, and probably due to our tech-driven, scientifically orientated world, that when I tell people I write poetry for a living, I’m likely to hear the question, “But what’s it for? What does it do?” And that’s a puzzler when it comes to literature and poetry. To those of us who love it, it’s perfectly obvious what it’s “for.”

But just in case you’re asked that question about poetry any time soon, and you want to have something to say without spluttering in indignation, I thought I’d throw together a few little-know facts about the effect poetry has on children’s brains (and ours, for that matter).

How to Take Over the World, Step 9 – Defeating Secret Agents

Once you start trying to take over the world, you are going to find lots of government spies and secret agents trying to infiltrate your fortress and disable your doomsday devices. Step 9 of The Ultimate Top Secret Guide to Taking Over the World will teach you how to handily dispatch the forces of good so you can laugh maniacally and then go about your business of planning to conquer the planet.

My Puppy Plays Piano

My puppy plays piano.
It’s the strangest thing to see.
It seems, while I was practicing,
he learned by watching me.

He started out on chopsticks,
then he learned to play some Bach.
It wasn’t long before he knew
the blues and classic rock.

He also taught my kitten how
so they could play duets,
and then they taught guitar and drums
to all my other pets.

They formed a band and practiced hard
and traveled all around,
and instantly got famous
for their catchy “Pet Rock” sound.

They made a smash hit record
and it wasn’t very long
before my pets were millionaires
because they wrote this song.

My Pet Germs

my-pet-germs

I have a half a billion germs
I keep as tiny pets.
They’re cute and clean and never mean
and give me no regrets.

They spend all day engaged in play
upon my skin and hair.
They’re on my clothes, between my toes
and in my underwear.

They dance and shout and bounce about.
They run and jump and slide.
My epidermis teems with germs
who party on my hide.

I never fret about the pets
inside my shirt and socks.
I love them there but wonder where
they keep their litter box?