Tag: pets

My Hamster Has a Skateboard

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My hamster has a skateboard.
When he rides it, though, he falls.
He takes off like a maniac
and crashes into walls.

He screams, “Geronimo!”
and then goes crashing down the stairs.
He’s good at knocking tables down
and slamming into chairs.

He’ll slalom through the living room
and then you’ll hear a, “Splat!”
which means that he’s collided with
my mother or the cat.

He plows right into cabinets,
and smashes into doors,
I think he’s wrecked on every bed
and every chest of drawers.

It’s fun to watch him ride
because you’re sure to hear a smash.
He doesn’t skate so well but, boy,
he sure knows how to crash.

–Kenn Nesbitt

Catastrophe

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Our house is a catastrophe.
The curtains are in shreds.
There’s fur on all the furniture
and “presents” on our beds.

The couch is clawed to pieces.
The bathroom rug is ripped.
The goldfish bowl is broken
and the cat food dish is flipped.

There’s kitty litter everywhere.
The carpet smells like pee.
We went away for just one day
and got CATastrophe.

–Kenn Nesbitt

I Taught My Cat to Clean My Room

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I taught my cat to clean my room,
to use a bucket, brush and broom,
to dust my clock and picture frames,
and pick up all my toys and games.

He puts my pants and shirts away,
and makes my bed, and I would say
it seems to me it’s only fair
he puts away my underwear.

In fact, I think he’s got it made.
I’m not as happy with our trade.
He may pick up my shoes and socks,
but I clean out his litterbox.

–Kenn Nesbitt

Dizzy Dottie’s Dog Salon

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At Dizzy Dottie’s Dog Salon
we’ll fix your fido’s fur.
We will clip and comb his canine coat
and color his coiffure.

We will primp your pomeranian
and gussy up your pug.
We will brush your beagle’s back
and scrub his scruffy little mug.

Could your poodle use a crewcut?
Does your boxer need a bob?
Want an afro for your spaniel?
Come let Dottie’s do the job.

Get your setter new extensions.
Send your shepherd for a shave.
Bring your harrier for highlights
or your whippet for a wave.

From a bouffant to a beehive,
from a buzz-cut to a bun,
all the hair-dos here at Dottie’s
are affordable and fun.

Drive your doggy down to Dottie’s
for our groomings and shampoos,
where we don’t do cuts for kitties
but we do do doggy dos.

–Kenn Nesbitt

Video: My Hamster Has a Skateboard

A few months ago, I was a guest on Renee LaTulippe’s terrific children’s poetry blog, No Water River. While I was there I recited the poem “My Hamster Has a Skateboard” from my book The Tighty-Whitey Spider: And More Wacky Animal Poems I Totally Made Up. Just in case you missed it, I thought I would post the video of the poem here as well. I hope you enjoy it!

A Shark is a Pet

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A shark is a pet
that you don’t want to get.
There is nothing less fun than a shark.
He doesn’t have fur.
He won’t cuddle or purr,
and he never takes walks in the park.

Instead he just stares
and intensely prepares,
as he circles and waits in the dark,
to nibble your nose
and your fingers and toes,
for his bite is much worse than his bark.

–Kenn Nesbitt

I Named My Dogs the Strangest Names

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I named my dogs the strangest names,
not simply “Spot” or “Rover.”
Instead I named them “Fetch” and “Stay”
and “Here Boy” and “Roll Over.”

Not “Lassie,” “Patch,” or “Fido.”
No, instead they’re “Shake” and “Crawl”
and “Turn Around” and “Take a Bow”
and “Come” and “Wave” and “Ball!”

I gave them these abnormal names
to see what they would do.
I thought it would be fun but,
sad to say, that isn’t true.

And now I’m sort of sorry for the
crazy names I used.
My dogs cannot do any tricks;
they’re all just too confused.

–Kenn Nesbitt

New Video: My Pet Germs

Here’s my latest animated video. I had so much fun creating this one and I think you’ll see why when you play it. Have fun!

Note: If you’d like to read along with the poem, click on the “cc” button at the bottom of the video once it starts playing.

My Parents Sent Me to the Store

For quite some time I’ve wanted to create animated videos of my poems. Here is the first in what I hope will be a long series of videos, “My Parents Sent Me to the Store.”

Note: If you’d like to read along with the poem, click on the “cc” button at the bottom of the video once it starts playing.

My Puppy Plays Piano

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My puppy plays piano.
It’s the strangest thing to see.
It seems, while I was practicing,
he learned by watching me.

He started out on chopsticks,
then he learned to play some Bach.
It wasn’t long before he knew
the blues and classic rock.

He also taught my kitten how
so they could play duets,
and then they taught guitar and drums
to all my other pets.

They formed a band and practiced hard
and traveled all around,
and instantly got famous
for their catchy “Pet Rock” sound.

They made a smash hit record
and it wasn’t very long
before my pets were millionaires
because they wrote this song.

–Kenn Nesbitt