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My Smart Family by Kenn Nesbitt My Smart Family

My Smart Family by Kenn Nesbitt

My family drives a smart car.
We watch a smart TV.
The phones we use are smartphones.
We’re smart as we can be.

We live inside a smart home
with smart appliances,
which makes us smart at math and art
and all the sciences.

I like to wear a smartwatch
to track my health and heart.
I shouldn’t have to go to school
since I’m already smart.

I asked to stay at home.
I figured, why not take a chance?
My dad just frowned and told me,
“Don’t be such a smarty-pants.”

“But Dad,” I said, “it’s clear that
my IQ is off the charts.”
My dad was quick with his reply
and — ouch! — it really smarts!

I Think I’m in Love with My Smartphone

I think I’m in love with my smartphone.
I’ve never felt this way before.
I used to be lonely without it.
I don’t feel alone anymore.

My phone is my constant companion.
It loves to just hang out and play.
As long as I plug it in nightly,
it charms and delights me all day.

It likes to play music and movies.
It never says no to a game.
It answers my questions so sweetly.
Without it, life isn’t the same.

I hope you don’t misunderstand me
or think that I’m some kind of freak,
but I fell in love with my smartphone,
so we’re getting married next week.

I’ve Started Learning Honkish

Funny language poem for kids by Kenn Nesbitt

I’ve started learning Honkish.
It’s my favorite language now.
I’m also learning Mooish.
I can speak just like a cow.

I’m learning Chirpish, Burpish,
Beepish, and some Sneezanese,
and a dialect of Buzzish
so I sound just like the bees.

My dad taught me Snorwegian,
plus some Ancient Garglese,
and I’m fluent in a dozen other
languages like these.

I’m something of a prodigy
where language is concerned,
except for ones the language teacher
says I should have learned.

She tried to teach me Spanish,
French, and German, but I’m lazy.
And, anyway, I’d rather learn
the ones that drive her crazy.

Video – My Brother Ate My Smartphone

Here’s another video of a funny poem from my book My Cat Knows Karate. This one is called “My Brother Ate My Smartphone” and it’s about a boy who swallows a smartphone and suddenly becomes the smartest kid on the planet.

In a way, this poem is like a movie I saw when I was young. It was called, “The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes” and it was about a college student who became a genius after an accident involving his school’s computer. Of course, this could never really happen, so please don’t eat your brother’s phone. Instead, just enjoy the poem and maybe a few more while you’re at it!

My Brother Ate My Smartphone by Kenn Nesbitt My Brother Ate My Smartphone

My brother ate my smartphone.
Although it might sound strange,
he swallowed it and, bit by bit,
his brains began to change.

He started getting smarter.
He grew so shrewd and wise.
And I could see that, suddenly,
a light was in his eyes.

He knew as much as Google.
His IQ was off the charts.
I’d never seen someone so keen,
with such astounding smarts.

He solved the toughest problems
with simplicity and ease,
and calculated answers
with unrivaled expertise.

It seems he’s now a genius,
a perfect brainiac.
But I don’t care, or think it’s fair.
I want my smartphone back.

My Smartphone Isn’t Very Smart

My smartphone isn’t very smart.
In fact, it’s rather dumb.
It’s dumber than a doorknob
or a piece of chewing gum.

It used to be so awesome,
but now my phone is lame.
It cannot surf the Internet.
It cannot play a game.

It can’t take any pictures.
It can’t install an app.
It can’t look up my email
or an address on a map.

It won’t play any music.
It cannot calculate.
It won’t bring up a calendar
to show the time or date.

It cannot send a message.
It cannot make a call.
It’s safe to say my smartphone
won’t do anything at all.

It wasn’t always like this.
Perhaps you’ll take a peek?
I don’t know why it acts like this.
I charged it just last week!

What the Heart Knows: Chants, Charms & Blessings by Joyce Sidman

What the Heart Knows by Joyce Sidman

As Children’s Poet Laureate, one of my jobs is to select a collection of poetry each month to feature on the Poetry Foundation’s website. There you’ll find my monthly book picks, and those of the previous Children’s Poets Laureate.

My pick for December, 2013 is What the Heart Knows: Chants, Charms & Blessings by Joyce Sidman.

Interview with Children’s Poet Joyce Sidman

In addition, I interviewed Joyce about her life as a poet and about her new book. Here is what she had to say.

List of Rhyming Body Parts

It has happened more than once that I have needed to rhyme various parts of human or animal anatomy – body parts – in a poem. Here is the list that I refer to when I need it. I hope you find it useful as well.

  • Back / crack
  • Beak / cheek / physique
  • Biceps / triceps
  • Breast / chest
  • Butt / gut
  • Bum / gum / thumb / tum
  • Claw / jaw / maw / paw
  • Clothes / nose / toes
  • Chin / grin / shin / skin
  • Ear / rear / sneer
  • Eye / thigh
  • Eyelash / moustache / rash
  • Feet / seat
  • Fist / wrist
  • Groin / loin
  • Hide / inside / side
  • Hip / lip / fingertip
  • Lung / tongue
  • Nail / tail

Click here for other lists of rhyming words.

Celebrate Martin Luther King Day with Poetry

Poetry Activities for Martin Luther King Day

Martin Luther King, Jr. was an incredible orator, harnessing the power of words rather than weapons as he lead this country on its road to civil liberty.  In fact, many of his speeches have the power of poetry, using some of the same conventions writers use when composing poems: alliteration, personification, simile, repetition, metaphor, and even rhyme.  So, what better way to celebrate Martin Luther King Day than with words?

Here are some examples of poetry based activities you can do to commemorate Martin Luther King, Jr. on the third Monday of each January…  or any time you feel so inspired!

How to Host an Open Mic Poetry Party

Having an open mic poetry party is a great way for kids to showcase their talent while encouraging them to keep writing.  Whether the children are budding poets, stand-up comedians, or just need some practice with public speaking, in a few simple steps you can provide everyone with a fun way to enjoy live poetry!

Step One: Decide on a Venue

Think about the type of party you’d like to host.  Will it be a small gathering of friends, perhaps for a birthday or special occasion?  Is it for your class, scout troop, or youth group?  The size of the group, as well as the purpose of the party, will help you determine your venue.

There are many different places that would be great for an open mic night/party.  Libraries have meeting rooms or sometimes stages that can be reserved for free or very low cost.  Book stores and coffee shops often host open mic nights and poetry readings.  Rooms in schools and churches can also provide a nice space.  Even just your own living room can work well for small groups.

Once you decide on a space, you’ll have to call ahead and book it, as sometimes locations require reservations weeks or even months in advance.