That’s my list
of favorite words,
I really don’t care
what they mean.
I love the way
Nile admired the crocodile,
but Nate preferred the gator.
They disagreed for quite a while
which animal was greater.
Regrettably, it’s still obscure
which one snuck up behind them,
and all that we can say for sure
is that we’ll never find them.
Today I went shopping downtown at the mall,
for Christmas-day presents for family and all.
I purchased a sweater, some brand-new CDs,
a gift box with crackers and spreadable cheese,
a scooter, computer, and video games,
a skateboard with decals of dragons and flames,
a board game with legions of troops to command,
a poster and shirt of my favorite band.
Tomorrow I’ve got to go back to the mall
to get some more presents for family and all,
despite that my savings is practically shot,
I can’t bear to part with the ones I just bought!
There are beavers in the bathroom
swimming circles in the tub
where the beavers have decided
to convene their swimming club.
In their little beaver Speedos
and their beaver bathing caps,
they’ve been splashing rather happily
while practicing their laps.
They’ve been studying the butterfly,
the backstroke and the crawl,
and it’s obvious they like it
and they’re having quite a ball.
For we hear them all the time
but we don’t see them anymore,
ever since they built a beaver dam
behind the bathroom door.
My sister kisses thistles
she’s a thistle kissing sis,
thus a thistle’s itchy bristles
never miss my sister’s kiss.
My sister wishes thistles
weren’t as itchy to the kiss,
as the thistle’s bristles itches
make my prissy sister hiss.
My sister’s hisses whistle
as she kisses with a swish,
so my sister kisses thistles
with a thistle whistle wish.
Mister Horrible Head and Miss Ugliness Face
are the ugliest couple alive.
Yes indeed they’re so ugly that people run screaming
whenever they see them arrive.
You might say they’re misshapen, repulsive and vile,
or cadaverous, gruesome and gross.
Maybe hideous, grisly, repellent and shocking,
disgusting, unpleasant, morose.
You can call them unsightly, or horrid or scary,
or monstrous or frightful or bad.
You can call them whatever you like, but to me
they will always be called “Mom and Dad.”
I was sitting by my window
as I always do each morning
when a strange thing started happening
without the slightest warning.
It began by raining buckets,
several dustpans and a broom,
and a box of sponges landed
near the window with a boom.
Several mops appeared from nowhere
And with playfulness and skill
They paraded in formation
and they danced upon the sill.
Then a dozen cans of cleanser
and a hundred bars of soap,
spun in circles ’round my bedroom
like a spiral gyroscope.
They did pirouettes and pivots.
They performed a song-and-dance.
Then they finished with a combination
wiggle, waltz and prance.
Then they just as quickly vanished,
turning cartwheels ‘cross the floor,
they went bounding out the window
and they tumbled out the door.
I have no idea what happened,
so I guess I’ll just assume
this is someone’s way of telling me
that I should clean my room.
Tonight I write of Lefty Wright,
a lifter, slightly gifted,
who nightly lifted left and right
so deftly all he lifted.
Lefty lifted, on his left,
aloft a hefty crate.
Lefty lifted, on his right,
a slightly lighter weight.
So though Lefty lifted deftly,
shifting as he lifted,
Lefty, listing swiftly leftly,
drifted off a cliff did.
Rites were read for Lefty Wright
to Wrights he left bereft.
Despite his might, from quite a height,
yes, Lefty Wright has left.
Two Eskimos named Eb and Flo
were dozing by the ocean.
They watched the water ebb and flow
without their suntan lotion.
But Eb and Flo, they didn’t know,
they didn’t have a notion,
that they were floating on a floe,
a floe that was in motion.
So Eb and Flo, the Eskimos,
they caused a big commotion
by floating off where no one knows
upon the frozen ocean.
The story goes they caused such woes,
such mournful, sad emotion,
their families froze in blowing snows
while bawling by the ocean.
So Jills and Joes, if you repose
when going to the ocean,
then know your floes and don’t you doze,
and use your suntan lotion.
I went to sea,
and caught myself
an octopus caught I.
And though it seems
a bit unjust
I put him in
a pastry crust,
a pastry crust,
a pastry crust,
and baked an octo-pie.