Words are everywhere. They are on our toothpaste tube when we rub the sand out of our eyes and brush the scum off our teeth in the wee hours of the morning. Words are on our cereal box, our t-shirt, and the signs that mark our neighborhood streets. Words are even in our heads, as we internally tag each object around us with its corresponding name.
So if words are all over the place, why is it that we can often sit down to attempt writing- a poem or a story or an essay- and we can’t find the words? Well, it’s not that the words aren’t there. It’s just that for whatever reason… maybe we had a bad day, or we’re distracted by that upcoming test, or we’re excited about a birthday party… sometimes we aren’t feeling inspired.
An epitaph is a poem that mourns someone’s death, usually intended to appear on that person’s tombstone. Although epitaphs are usually serious, it’s also possible for a rhyming epitaph to tell a funny story in a very short way. Often a funny epitaph is only four lines long.
Here’s an example of a funny epitaph poem that I wrote:
Rest in Peas
Here lies the body of Izzy Dunn-Eaton.
It’s hard to believe what he tried.
He tasted the school cafeteria food
and Izzy Dunn-Eaton done died.
This poem is funny because we know that icky cafeteria food can’t actually kill you. The story in this poem exaggerates how awful the cafeteria food tastes. Did you notice that the character’s name adds to the humor of the poem? Try reading “Izzy Dunn-Eaton” out loud to hear what it sounds like. The title makes it funnier, too, using “peas” instead of “peace.”
Sometimes a funny epitaph poem can teach a lesson about unhealthy habits. Here’s an example in which a vegetable-hating kid learns that too many sweets can be very bad for you:
My brother’s a genius;
as smart as they come.
Without his computer, though,
boy, is he dumb.
His screws all get looser.
His lights become dim.
His mind starts unwinding.
His senses grow slim.
His IQ starts dropping.
His smarts start to sink.
It seems to be strenuous
even to think.
His wisdom and wits take
a little vacation.
His head is still there
but his brain leaves the station.
He can’t answer questions
or speak off the cuff.
His noggin gets clogged up
with feathers and fluff.
He’s dense as a doorknob.
He’s thick as a brick.
It’s plain that his brain
can’t compete with a stick.
When using computers,
he’s bright as the sun.
Without them, he’s dumb
as a hamburger bun.
He’s slow as a dodo,
obtuse as a trout.
I sure hope our Internet
never goes out.
March 21st is World Poetry Day, so don’t miss out on your chance to celebrate all things poetic with the rest of the planet!
In 1999, the United Nations Educational, Scientific and Cultural Organisation – or UNESCO for short – decided to establish an event that would recognize the impact poetry has had on the arts and cultural life throughout human history, and so, in 2000, the first World Poetry Day took place!
It’s a time to support poets, who often work very hard with very little recognition, but is also a time to appreciate poetry from around the world.
It happened once, I don’t know how,
I found myself upon a cow.
The cow was startled, too, to see
that she was sitting under me.
And underneath the cow, a hog
was resting right atop a dog.
Below them in this lofty heap
were piled a goat, a duck, a sheep,
a buffalo, a horse, a yak,
and at the bottom of the stack,
a rather worried-looking cat,
extremely wide and very flat.
So if you never want your cat
to wind up wide and round and flat
then learn this lesson here and now:
Don’t ever sit upon a cow.
Looking for ways to have fun with poetry besides just reading it? Here are poetic activities that you can use at home or in the classroom to celebrate holidays, have parties, make crafts, and more.
Hands-on projects help bring poetry to life for young children. In the poem “The Armpit of Doom,” the speaker is experiencing the horrible sights and smells of her brother’s disgusting, stinky bedroom. Have you ever smelled something so bad that it literally makes you want to vomit? All you want to do is smell something good to erase that odor from your mind! In this project, we’ll create homemade air fresheners that you can keep for your own self-defense, or give to that stinky-room person in your life as a special gift from you to them. They may not appreciate it… but everyone else will!
Did you know that March 2 is the birthday of Dr. Seuss? The full name of this famous writer and illustrator was Theodor Seuss Geisel. “Dr. Seuss” is a pseudonym, or “pen name,” that Theodor Geisel used for his books. You have probably read many of Geisel’s books, which usually feature rhyming poetry and whimsical drawings. Here are some of his most famous books:
Theodor Geisel was born in Massachusetts in 1904. His grandparents were immigrants from Germany. When he was a young boy, Geisel’s mother would help him fall asleep at night by singing rhyming songs that she remembered from her own childhood. Geisel took an art class in high school. He also became the editor of his college humor magazine, where he wrote articles and drew cartoons. Later he found work as an illustrator for advertisements, drawing scary-looking cartoon insects to sell a pesticide called Flit. Giesel enrolled in the Army during World War II, where he produced war posters and animated training films. During this time, he also drew political cartoons that expressed his ideas about the war.
Often when they’re asked to write a poem, children can get stuck at the first hurdle: What to write about. By using a familiar starting point, you can kick-start your class’s creativity by giving an easy way in—and a great place to begin is with the fairy tales they’ve grown up with!
Many fairy tales are even older than the printing press. Originally, they were passed on from person to person and generation to generation only orally. (Once books became commonplace, people such as the Brothers Grimm were able to collect the stories from people and commit them to paper.) A great way for people to remember stories in those days was to turn them into rhyming poems or songs—often called ballads—so they could pass them on from one person to the next. This meant that each person could also change the story when they told it, to keep it interesting and relevant (or if they had forgotten a bit!).
Once the stories were written down, they weren’t as easy to change, because the printed word was there for everyone to see. This activity is all about creating a rhyming version of a well-known fairy tale story, and memorizing it at the same time.
There was a boy whose name was Sam.
The only thing he ate was jam.
When offered any other food,
he’d claim he wasn’t in the mood.
He’d say, “I’m fairly full today,”
and push that other food away.
And so he never tasted pie,
or gave spaghetti sauce a try,
and even if you asked him, “Please?”
he wouldn’t chew on cheddar cheese.
He couldn’t stand potato chips.
Bananas never crossed his lips.
And not a bit of beef or lamb
or deviled egg or candied yam
would wind up on his dinner plate,
for jam was all he ever ate.
Now, as it happened, late one day
poor Sam expired. He passed away.
We don’t know why. It might have been
some mineral or vitamin
was missing from the food he ate
and caused this clearly awful fate
or maybe all that sugar made
him fall to pieces, start to fade,
until the day that eating jam
at last became the end of Sam.
We can’t be certain why he died
but, maybe, if he’d only tried
some yogurt or some celery,
a piece of toast, a pear, a pea,
a pizza crust, a grain of rice,
a half an herb, a single spice,
a spoon of soup with just one clam,
then, maybe, we would still have Sam.
Alas, he never ate a grape
or chocolate bar or Belgian crepe
or lobster bisque or Irish stew
or sauerkraut or cheese fondue
or casserole or sloppy joe,
so this is all we’ll ever know:
Since jam was all he had to eat,
his life was rather short and sweet.
My Brother’s a Genius
I Found Myself Upon a Cow
Sam, Who Only Ate Jam