I’m feeling sick and getting worse.
I think I’d better see the nurse.
I’m sure I should go home today.
It could be fatal if I stay.
I’m nauseated, nearly ill.
I have a fever and a chill.
I have a cold. I have the flu.
I’m turning green and pink and blue.
I have the sweats. I have the shakes,
a stuffy nose, and bellyaches.
My knees are weak. My vision’s blurred.
My throat is sore. My voice is slurred.
I’m strewn with head lice, ticks, and mites.
I’m covered in mosquito bites.
I have a cough, a creak, a croak,
a reddish rash from poison oak,
a feeble head, a weakened heart.
I may just faint or fall apart.
I sprained my ankle, stubbed my toes,
and soon I’ll start to decompose.
And one more thing I have today
that makes me have to go away.
It’s just as bad as all the rest:
I also have a science test.
My phone must be
a lonely phone.
It often does things
on its own.
It likes to blink
and buzz and beep
to wake me up
when I’m asleep.
I sometimes find
it’s made a call
without me touching
it at all.
If it gets bored,
before too long,
it might decide
to play a song,
or maybe shoot
a video,
or send a tweet,
or watch a show,
or play a game,
or send a text.
I never know
what’s coming next.
Today I left
my phone at home.
While I was gone
it wrote this poem.
I tried to find a dinosaur.
I started in my yard.
I dug and dug for days and days.
The work was long and hard.
I dug through dirt and mud and muck.
I dug through rocks and soil.
My arms grew sore. My legs grew weak
from all the sweat and toil.
I shoveled tons of gravel out.
I moved a bunch of stones,
until, at last, to my surprise,
I found some fossil bones.
I put the bones together in
my bedroom on the floor.
When I was done, those bones had formed
a half a dinosaur.
My parents weren’t too happy when
I told them of my goal.
I found a half a dinosaur,
but then they found the hole.
My mirror likes to argue.
He likes to fight and feud.
He often disagrees with me.
He’s regularly rude.
He’s fond of making faces.
He loves to sneer and scowl.
And, if I scream and shout at him,
he’ll holler, hoot, and howl.
I wish I’d never met him.
I wish he’d go away.
I wish I didn’t chance upon him
several times a day.
I think perhaps the next time
he starts to disagree,
I’ll smile at him to see if maybe
he’ll be nice to me.
I like myself the way I am.
I’m really glad I’m me.
In fact, I’m sure there’s no one else
on Earth I’d rather be.
I’d rather not be someone else.
I wouldn’t want to switch,
unless they were more beautiful,
or powerful, or rich.
I only want to be myself.
To change would just be wrong,
except if they were super smart,
or muscular and strong.
Unless they were more talented,
or glamorous, or tall,
or popular, or interesting,
I’d never change at all.
Except if they were famous or
had won the lottery,
I’d like to stay the way I am.
I’m glad to just be me.
My cat knows karate.
My frog knows kung fu.
My poodle knows judo.
My turtle does too.
They all became black belts
by watching TV;
some Chuck Norris movies,
and films with Bruce Lee.
They liked learning lessons
from Jean-Claude Van Damme,
and acting like action-film star
Jackie Chan.
They practiced their punches,
their blocks, and their kicks
until they were masters
of martial arts tricks.
You’d think they’d be good now
at guarding our house,
but, yesterday morning,
they ran from my mouse.
My mouse is a crack-up.
I laughed at his prank.
Do you think it’s weird that
my mouse drives a tank?
It’s after Thanksgiving.
I’m full as can be.
I haven’t got room left
for even a pea.
I probably gobbled
too much at our feast.
I’m straining in pain and
my waistline’s increased.
I’m utterly glutted.
My stomach is stuffed.
My belly is bulging.
My tummy is puffed.
I’m totally bloated.
I’m huffing and puffing.
I guess it’s not smart to eat
nothing but stuffing.
Rosy the Dozer
was driving one day
but didn’t see all
of the mud in her way.
So Rosy the Dozer
got stuck in the mud.
Her treads became crusty
and covered with crud.
She tried to get out
but her treads only spun.
“Oh dear,” muttered Rosy,
“This isn’t much fun.”
She let out a moan
and a sad little yelp,
then sat down and waited
for someone to help.
Grumpy the Dump Truck
came rumbling on by,
but said, “I can’t help you.
I’m sure you see why.
“My skill is in hauling
and dumping big loads
of dirt, rocks, and gravel,
for building new roads.”
Mimi the Steamroller
wandered by next.
She looked at the mud
but was plainly perplexed.
She said, “I’m an expert
at making things flat.
But pulling you out?
I can’t help you with that.”
Corky the Forklift
was next on the list.
He said, “I’m afraid
I’ve no way to assist.
“I’d help you to carry
a carton or crate.
But someone will help you.
You just need to wait.”
Then Cody the Tow Truck
saw Rosy was stuck.
He said, “I can help you
get out of that muck.
“That’s just what us tow trucks
are waiting to do.
There’s nobody better
to do this for you.”
So Cody the Tow Truck
helped Rosy get free,
and Rosy cried, “Thank you
for stopping for me.”
Now Rosy the Dozer
is someone who knows
to always be careful
wherever she goes.
She keeps her eyes open.
She watches for muck.
And that was the last time
she ever got stuck.
Down on the ocean floor,
Deep in the sea,
Everybody’s dancing.
Ready? ONE, TWO, THREE!
Barracuda boogies
With the octopus and eel.
Sea horse does a square dance
With the salmon and the seal.
Jiggle goes the jellyfish.
Shimmy goes the snake.
Lobster leans and limboes
while the sea snail shakes.
Everybody’s dancing in the
deep, deep dark.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes the shark!
Where did everybody go?
He heard the music play.
He must have missed the party.
They must have gone away.
Shark is all alone upon
This underwater shelf.
That’s alright! Shark is happy
Dancing by himself.
Shark begins to shuffle.
Shark begins to spin.
He flutters with his flipper
And he wiggles with his fin.
He doesn’t look so scary.
He wants to party too!
So barracuda joins him
for a bouncy bugaloo.
Jellyfish then joins in.
So do octopus and eel.
Snake returns to shimmy
With the sea horse and the seal.
Everybody’s dancing
From the salmon to the snail.
But run away! Run away!
Here comes killer whale!
Sick Day
Lonely Phone
I Tried to Find a Dinosaur
My Mirror Likes to Argue
I Like Myself the Way I Am
My Cat Knows Karate
After Thanksgiving
Rosy the Dozer
Deep Sea Dance