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The clock-maker Finnegan Flanagan Fox
makes nothing but genuine grandfather clocks.
As soon as you see them you’ll know that it’s true;
His clocks all have children and grandchildren too.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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I taught my cat to clean my room,
to use a bucket, brush and broom,
to dust my clock and picture frames,
and pick up all my toys and games.
He puts my pants and shirts away,
and makes my bed, and I would say
it seems to me it’s only fair
he puts away my underwear.
In fact, I think he’s got it made.
I’m not as happy with our trade.
He may pick up my shoes and socks,
but I clean out his litterbox.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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Swimming in the swimming pool
is where I like to “B,”
wearing underwater goggles
so that I can “C.”
Yesterday, before I swam,
I drank a cup of “T.”
Now the pool is just an “ool”
because I took a “P.”
–Kenn Nesbitt
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I’ll ride on a rainbow
to soar through the sky.
I’ll ride on a kite
as it flies way up high.
I’ll ride on a dragon.
I’ll ride a balloon.
I’ll ride on a rocket
and ride on the moon.
I’ll ride on the wind
and the sun and the stars,
on floating bananas
and flying guitars.
I’ll ride on a cloud
and a unicorn too.
I’ll ride in the seat
of a magical shoe.
But why would I ride
on the sun and the stars?
It’s so much more fun
than just riding in cars.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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I started on my homework
but my pen ran out of ink.
My hamster ate my homework.
My computer’s on the blink.
I accidentally dropped it
in the soup my mom was cooking.
My brother flushed it down the toilet
when I wasn’t looking.
My mother ran my homework
through the washer and the dryer.
An airplane crashed into our house.
My homework caught on fire.
Tornadoes blew my notes away.
Volcanoes struck our town.
My notes were taken hostage
by an evil killer clown.
Some aliens abducted me.
I had a shark attack.
A pirate swiped my homework
and refused to give it back.
I worked on these excuses
so darned long my teacher said,
“I think you’ll find it’s easier
to do the work instead.”
–Kenn Nesbitt
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My teacher took my iPod.
She said they had a rule;
I couldn’t bring it into class
or even to the school.
She said she would return it;
I’d have it back that day.
But then she tried my headphones on
and gave a click on Play.
She looked a little startled,
but after just a while
she made sure we were occupied
and cracked a wicked smile.
Her body started swaying.
Her toes began to tap.
She started grooving in her seat
and rocking to the rap.
My teacher said she changed her mind.
She thinks it’s now okay
to bring my iPod into class.
She takes it every day.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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At Dizzy Dottie’s Dog Salon
we’ll fix your fido’s fur.
We will clip and comb his canine coat
and color his coiffure.
We will primp your pomeranian
and gussy up your pug.
We will brush your beagle’s back
and scrub his scruffy little mug.
Could your poodle use a crewcut?
Does your boxer need a bob?
Want an afro for your spaniel?
Come let Dottie’s do the job.
Get your setter new extensions.
Send your shepherd for a shave.
Bring your harrier for highlights
or your whippet for a wave.
From a bouffant to a beehive,
from a buzz-cut to a bun,
all the hair-dos here at Dottie’s
are affordable and fun.
Drive your doggy down to Dottie’s
for our groomings and shampoos,
where we don’t do cuts for kitties
but we do do doggy dos.
–Kenn Nesbitt
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I found an empty cardboard box.
I made myself a fort.
I had to squeeze and twist and turn
and crumple and contort
to climb inside, but now I’m quite
embarrassed to report
I’m stuck inside this cardboard box
that’s clearly much too short.
Has anybody got a box
that’s bigger than a quart?
–Kenn Nesbitt
If you would like to recite a poem for an audience – whether you are reciting a poem that you wrote yourself, or a poem by someone else – there are many different ways to go about it. Here are some of the things that will help you learn to recite poetry like an expert.
When choosing a poem to recite, be sure to pick a poem that you really like. The more you like the poem, the more fun you will have learning and reciting it. Whether it’s a funny poem, a serious poem, a sad poem, a sports poem, a spooky poem, a jump-rope rhyme, or even a love poem, if it’s a poem that “speaks to you” – a poem that makes you feel something – you are going to enjoy sharing it with your audience.
There are lots of “right ways” to recite a poem, but in my opinion there is only one “wrong way.” The wrong way to recite a poem is to use your normal, everyday, “inside voice.” When you use your “inside voice,” you only speak loud enough for those closest to you to hear what you are saying. When you recite a poem, you need to speak loudly enough for everyone in the room to hear you.
Of course, if you really want to mess it up, you can also hold the poem in front of your face so no one can see your lips moving, making it that much harder for people to hear you. Oh, and look down at your shoes. When you speak, your voice travels in whatever direction you are facing. If you are looking at your shoes, your shoes can hear you really well, but other people might not.
So the first and most important thing to know when you want to recite a poem is that you really need to face your audience and use your “outside voice,” even if you are inside. In other words, it’s okay to YELL when reciting a poem. If anyone ever asks you why you were yelling when you recited a poem, please tell them Kenn Nesbitt said it was okay.
To recite a poem well, it’s important to have it firmly committed to memory. If you don’t have the poem memorized, you are more likely to make mistakes when reciting it, even if you have it written on a piece of paper in front of you. Memorizing it will help make your recitation as good as possible.
I find that the best way to memorize a poem is to read a printed copy out loud as many times as possible. Depending on the length of the poem, you may have to read it out loud 10 or 20 times, or possibly even more, but each time you read a poem out loud, you will remember a little more of it.
While it’s okay to just YELL when you recite a poem, here are several other things you can do that might make it even better:
However you decide to recite a poem, the most important thing is that you have fun doing it. So pick a poem, memorize it, practice reciting it a few different ways to see what works best, and then have fun sharing it with your audience!
A few months ago, I was a guest on Renee LaTulippe’s terrific children’s poetry blog, No Water River. While I was there I recited the poem “My Hamster Has a Skateboard” from my book The Tighty-Whitey Spider: And More Wacky Animal Poems I Totally Made Up. Just in case you missed it, I thought I would post the video of the poem here as well. I hope you enjoy it!
