Author: Kenn Nesbitt

When October comes around each year, I love writing Halloween poems—especially about monsters, haunted houses, and trick-or-treating. Some of these poems are a little spooky, but most are just meant to be silly and fun, like this one. I started imagining what it might be like if Dracula and his monster friends hosted a Halloween celebration of their own. What would they do if you came knocking on their door? I hope you enjoy the answer.

At Dracula’s Mansion

At Dracula’s mansion, on Halloween night,
the monsters are hiding inside, out of sight.
They patiently wait till the moment is right,
the moment you ring the front bell.

They’ll throw the door open and put on a show,
some magic in front of the pumpkins’ warm glow.
And you’ll have a seat in the very front row
as they cast their magical spell.

The ghost will perform his new vanishing act.
The witch will pull black rabbits out of her hat.
Count Dracula simply turns into a bat
as you’re bravely waiting for sweets.

You might find it scary to be in this fix.
But monsters… well, that’s the way they get their kicks.
At Dracula’s mansion, they always do tricks,
before they give out any treats.

— Kenn Nesbitt

One of the things I’ve loved ever since I was a kid is playing with language; making up silly words, twisting familiar phrases, and asking questions that don’t always have logical answers. I grew up reading nonsense poems like “Jabberwocky” by Lewis Carroll and “The Owl and the Pussycat” by Edward Lear, and I still remember the tongue twisters and silly songs my dad used to recite, like “Fuzzy Wuzzy Was a Bear” and “Mairzy Doats.” Those kinds of playful poems and songs sparked something in me, and they’ve inspired many of the poems I’ve written since.

A few nights ago, just as I was drifting off to sleep, a strange question popped into my head: If it’s a farmer’s job to farm and a teacher’s job to teach, is it a butler’s job to “butle?” It made me laugh so much that I grabbed my phone and jotted it down before I could forget. When I looked at it the next morning, I still thought it was fun. So I ran with it and turned it into a poem.

I hope you enjoy the result as much as I enjoyed writing it.

It’s a Farmer’s Job to Farm

It’s a farmer’s job to farm,
and it’s a teacher’s job to teach.
It’s a dancer’s job to dance,
and it’s a preacher’s job to preach.

But do butlers have to butle,
and do barbers have to barb?
Does a butcher have to butch,
and does a harbor have to harb?

Does a grocer have to groce,
and does a doctor have to doct?
Is a scholar’s job to schol,
and is a proctor’s job to proct?

Does a dollar have to doll
and does the thunder always thund?
If you know, then you’re a wonder,
and your job must be to wond.

— Kenn Nesbitt

Have you ever played around with one of those video filters that makes you look older, or younger, or gives you dog ears, or turns your whole face into a cartoon? Apps like Zoom, Snapchat, and others are filled with tools that can instantly change how you look—just for fun. It made me think about the line from Snow White… “Mirror, Mirror on the wall…” What if that magic mirror still existed, but it used artificial intelligence instead of spells and potions?

That idea got my imagination spinning, and the result was this poem. I hope you enjoy it.

AI Mirror On the Wall

AI mirror on the wall,
show me what I’d look like tall.
Dress me in a suit and hat.
Make my face look like a cat.

Change my skin to turn it blue.
Add a beard and mustache too.
Make me young. Now make me old.
Place me on a pile of gold.

Show me what I’d look like blonde,
with a cape and magic wand.
Make my hair short. Make it long.
Make my muscles big and strong.

Thank you, AI. That was fun.
But for now, I think we’re done.
Turn off AI on the wall.
Normal me is best of all.

— Kenn Nesbitt

I’ve always loved writing poems about unusual characters—kids, teenagers, or even adults who do outrageous things or take ordinary situations and turn them completely upside down. “The Reason Vance Learned How to Dance” is one of those poems. It’s about a kid who puts in a ton of effort for one very specific reason… and then something unexpected happens.

Poems like this are a fun way to play with something called irony—that’s when the outcome is the opposite of what you’d expect. Imagine practicing all year to go swimming and then forgetting your swimsuit on the big day. That’s ironic—and also kind of funny! In this poem, Vance is a kooky character who works hard toward his goal, but things don’t quite go as planned.

Let’s see what happens to Vance as he prepares for his big moment…

The Reason Vance Learned How to Dance

The reason Vance learned how to dance
was for his high school prom.
He knew he needed lessons, so
he went and asked his mom.

She taught him how to jitterbug
and how to lock and pop,
and how to do the Bossa Nova
and the Bunny Hop.

She showed him how to do the Robot
and the Tango too,
the Cha-Cha and the Twist, and the
Electric Boogaloo.

He learned to do the Chicken Dance,
the Moonwalk, and the Mule.
At last he felt that he was ready
for the dance at school.

He’d learned a dozen dances, but
he realized too late
he couldn’t go to prom since he
forgot to ask a date.

— Kenn Nesbitt