Reading Level: Grade 8

Poems suitable for reading by 13-14 year olds.

Beavers In the Bathroom

There are beavers in the bathroom
swimming circles in the tub
where the beavers have decided
to convene their swimming club.

In their little beaver Speedos
and their beaver bathing caps,
they’ve been splashing rather happily
while practicing their laps.

They’ve been studying the butterfly,
the backstroke and the crawl,
and it’s obvious they like it
and they’re having quite a ball.

For we hear them all the time
but we don’t see them anymore,
ever since they built a beaver dam
behind the bathroom door.

I Saw a Sloth Play Soccer

I saw a sloth play soccer
with a tortoise and a snail.
They were all enthusiastic
and determined to prevail.

They were positively passionate
and truly in the groove,
and by watching very closely
I could almost see them move.

Fancy Dancer

The fanciest dancer that ever did dance
was Elmo Fernando Rodrigo McGants.
McGants did a dance that was twenty parts tango,
eleven parts polka and five parts fandango,
with thirty parts two-stepping jitterbug waltz,
a tap dance, a backflip, and four somersaults.
He spun like a top for a hundred rotations,
then swung and lambada’d with pelvic gyrations.
He rhumba’d, he mamboed, he boogied to disco,
he did the merengue from Boston to Frisco.
He limboed and cha-cha’d from China to France,
completing the world’s most intricate dance,
and all because someone put ants in the pants
of Elmo Fernando Rodrigo McGants.

I Play Gel Legions

I play gel legions tutor flack
hover you knighted steaks hover miracle,
hand tutory public far witches tans,
worn Asian, hunter cod, indy visible,
whiff lip or tea hand just sticks far hall.

At least, I think that’s how it goes.

What I Told Mrs. Morris When She Asked How I Was Feeling Today

“Grumbly, grouchy,
groggy, grumpy,
sleepy, slouchy,
fussy, frumpy,
whiny, weary,
cranky, crazy,
dingy, dreary,
loopy, lazy,
dizzy, drowsy,
crusty, crummy,
loony, lousy,
scruffy, scummy,
bleary, batty,
shaky, shabby,
rusty, ratty,
cruddy, crabby.
That describes it,
Mrs. Morris.
Thank you for the
new thesaurus.”