The Winter Olympics are Practically Here

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The winter Olympics are practically here.
They say that the sports will be different this year.
Instead of the athletes who always compete,
They plan to have animals! Won’t that be neat?

They plan, for example, in cross country skiing
This year to have not even one human being.
Instead they’ll let polar bears out of the zoos
And fit them with custom-made cross country shoes.

With helmets and skis they’ll head out in the cold
To race one another and go for the gold.
On ski jump this winter I hear that they’ll use
a family of jackrabbits or kangaroos.

I’m sure the Olympics this year will be huge
With goats on the snowboards and lemurs on luge!
And won’t it be fun to watch elephants race
On bobsleighs downhill at a neck-breaking pace?

I simply can’t wait to watch speed-skating mice
Careening like crazy out there on the ice,
And octopi with a profusion of skates
Who execute Axels and real figure eights.

The snakes will be curling, but not as you’d think;
They’ll do it with stones on an ice-covered rink.
The falcons will slalom on specially-made skis,
And frogs will do freestyle. I hope they don’t freeze!

The sparrows will sprint and the hawks will play hockey
And people will cheer them from here to Milwaukee
And lavish the winners with medals and ribbons;
The geese, the gorillas, the geckos, and gibbons.

The ducks and the dolphins, the donkeys and dogs,
The hamsters and hippos and horses and hogs.
They’ll all be competing to show who’s the best
And leave all the spectators awed and impressed.

It’s just so exciting! I can’t wait to go
To see all these creatures compete in the snow.
But, still, I sure hope when the games are all through
The animals all go back home to the zoo.