My Dog Fred

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I have a dog.
His name is Fred.
He won’t play fetch.
He won’t play dead.

He won’t shake hands
or sit or stay
or bark or beg
or run and play.

He won’t roll over,
jump or crawl.
In fact, he won’t
do tricks at all.

When people ask
I tell them that’s
because my dog
was raised by cats.