Elaine the Complainer

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Elaine the Complainer by Kenn Nesbitt

My name is Elaine
and I like to complain.
Complaining is all that I do.
I moan when it’s hot
and I groan when it’s not.
I whine when the sky is too blue.

I fuss that the food
on my plate must be chewed.
I whimper whenever I clean.
I frequently fret
if my bath gets me wet.
I gripe if the grass is too green.

I act like my brain
is in terrible pain
when people are being polite.
But then, if they’re rude,
it will ruin my mood;
I’ll grumble and mumble all night.

But though I delight
in complaining all night,
there’s one thing I simply can’t see.
I don’t understand
(since I’m clearly so grand)
why people complain about me.