Bernadette the Burper
Bernadette the burper
is the greatest in the land.
She so adept at burping
she can do it on command.
There’s never been a burper
quite as skilled as Bernadette.
She’ll burp the Happy Birthday song,
and then the alphabet.
She’ll burp the periodic table
and the fifty states.
She’ll burp the works of Shakespeare,
Wordsworth, Tennyson, and Yeats.
But every time she burps a burp
it drives her father wild.
He says they’re inappropriate
and unfit for a child.
He says she shouldn’t ever burp.
He tells her that it’s rude.
He says that burping’s impolite,
disgusting, gross, and crude.
So Bernadette agreed to stop
and held them in all day.
Her father changed his mind
when they came out the other way.
— Kenn Nesbitt
Copyright © 2025. All Rights Reserved.
Reading Level: Grade 3
Topics: Poems about Kooky Characters
Poetic Techniques: Alliteration, Assonance, Descriptive Poems, Hyperbole, Irony, Narrative Poems
Word Count: 127
About This Poem
Sometimes the silliest ideas make for the funniest poems. This one started with a simple question: What if someone was really, really good at burping? I mean unbelievably good. That idea made me laugh, so I knew I had to run with it. The result is a poem that plays with repetition, exaggeration, and a little bit of mischief—just the kind of humor that makes poetry extra fun. I hope you enjoy meeting one of the world’s most talented burpers… even if not everyone in her family appreciates her skills.
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