My wife recently started a new job as a school picture day photographer. Every day when she comes home, she has interesting, and often funny stories about the people and things she photographed that day. She’s taken pictures of hundreds of students, of course, but she’s also photographed teachers, school staff, and even a principal’s dog!
One thing she quickly discovered is that the grown-ups aren’t necessarily any easier to photograph than the kids. Teachers, for example, are much more likely to ask for do-overs of their staff photos because they didn’t like their smile, their hair, or the way they looked in the first one.
After hearing all these stories, I started thinking that picture day sounded like a perfect subject for a poem. My wife agreed and asked me to write a funny picture day poem that she could share with her coworkers.
So I wrote this one. Thankfully, she liked it. I hope you do too.
Picture Day
It’s picture day at school today.
I sat down in the chair
then rolled my tongue and crossed my eyes
and messed up all my hair.
I mugged for the photographer.
She frowned and shook her head,
and told me I should comb my hair
and try to smile instead.
She said, “Say cheese!” I puffed my cheeks
and jutted out my chin,
then stuck my fingers in my ears
and forced a silly grin.
She told me that, for picture day,
our portraits should be formal.
Instead, I made a zombie face,
all twisted and abnormal.
The camera clicked. I laughed so hard
I felt like I might burst.
But she just rolled her eyes and said,
“You teachers are the worst.”
— Kenn Nesbitt
