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My name is Rumplestiltskin.
My parents thought it cute.
They said “He needs a MASSIVE name
because he’s so minute.”

They never once considered
that they could have named me Jim.
They didn’t say, “A name like Bob
is suitable for him.”

They never thought to call me Max
or Josh or Jake or Jack,
or Mike or Bill or Sam or Tom
or Pete or Dan or Zack.

So here I am in second grade
the saddest kid in school,
for everyone makes fun of me;
they tease and ridicule.

They laugh at me and call me names
and treat me like a chump.
It’s hard to be a kid in school
whose name begins with “Rump.”