When Grandma goes for gold in
The Olympic games this year,
She’ll laugh at her competitors
And make them quake with fear.

She’s ninety-nine years old
But, in athletics, she’s been blessed.
The trouble is she can’t decide
Which sport she plays the best.

She’s such an ace at archery.
She’s queen of the canoe.
She’s tough to top at taekwondo
And table tennis too.

She dominates the diving board.
She tromps the trampoline.
At lifting weights and wrestling
She’s the best you’ve ever seen.

She speeds across the swimming pool
To slake the summer heat.
On BMX and mountain bike
She simply can’t be beat.

She’s highest in the high jump,
And a champ at hammer throwing,
Magnificent in marathons,
Remarkable at rowing.

She beats the best at boxing.
At the pole vault she is peerless.
Her fencing is the finest;
She is positively fearless.

She’s masterful at basketball,
She truly rules the court,
And equally incredible
At every other sport.

But what we find astonishing
And something of a shocker
Is how she wins all contests
With her wheelchair and her walker.