There was a boy named Josh McGrath
who never liked to take a bath.
Instead, he liked to roll in mud
and cover up with scummy crud.
He liked to play in grime and gunk
and every sort of slime that stunk
and wipe his clothes with dirt and dust
and smear his skin with soil and rust.

You see, when Josh was just a tyke
he went out riding on his trike.
He hit a bump that fateful day
and tumbled in some muddy clay.
He didn’t wreck. He didn’t crash,
but landed softly with a splash.
He smiled and thought, “This isn’t bad.
I’ll go and show my mom and dad.”

He toddled home to mom and dad
who looked both sad and pretty mad.
They said, “Young man, get in the tub,
and give yourself a sudsy scrub
and don’t come out until you’re clean.”
Who knew that they would be so mean?
With heavy heart, young Josh McGrath
climbed in the tub and took a bath.

When he had done as he was told
he noticed he was deeply cold.
He felt a shiver from the chill.
He shook and shuddered, feeling ill.
He mumbled, “This is not the way
that I would like to feel today.”
And so, he went back out to play
in dirty earth and muddy clay.

He soaked his clothes with gooey ooze,
his shirt, his pants, his socks, and shoes.
He even put some in his hair
and shoved some in his underwear.
He rubbed some scum between his toes
and on his cheeks and chin and nose.
But Josh McGrath did not stop there.
He slapped and packed it everywhere.

His ears, his shoulders, and his neck
were smudged with sludge and daubed with dreck.
He found a mound of dusty dirt
and sprayed a layer on his shirt.
His coat received a coating too.
His hat was capped with globs of goo.
The grease and grime grew bit by bit
until he couldn’t walk or sit
and Josh became a giant pile
of yucky muck…

which made him SMILE.

He might be trapped in muck and mold
but now, at last, he wasn’t cold.

His parents wondered where he went,
what could have caused this sad event.
They looked, but never could find Josh,
the boy who didn’t like to wash.
So, kids, if you would rather not
be trapped in grime and slime and snot
then please remember Josh McGrath
and go right now and take your bath.