If I were the Principal, boy, things would change.
Our school would be fun, if a little bit strange.
We’d keep kangaroos in the classrooms as pets.
We’d travel to Tonga and learn to fly jets.

We’d get to make movies, and all become stars.
For field trips we’d blast off on rockets to mars.
We’d learn to raise monsters and build time machines.
We’d surf on tsunamis in sleek submarines.

We’d learn to make robots with nuclear brains,
and dig up a dinosaur’s fossil remains.
We’d battle with pirates and plunder their gold.
We’d duel with dragons for treasures untold.

We’d practice some potions and magical spells
to stink up the schoolyard with sickening smells,
to make us invisible, eighty feet tall,
or turn into liquid or walk through a wall.

Yes, if I were Principal, that’s what we’d do.
We’d lock evil scientists up in the zoo,
while vanquishing villains and capturing crooks.
In other words, we would read many more books.