Grave Humor

Funny Epitaphs

Rate this poem
376 votes


Here lies the body of someone named Dave.
Out walking at midnight he fell in this grave.
He wouldn’t be dead and he wouldn’t be buried,
if only he’d turned on that flashlight he carried.

Here lies Art. He wasn’t smart.
Went outside and threw a dart.
Threw it straight up in the air.
Sometimes life just isn’t fair.

At the zoo, Melinda Sue,
first turned purple. Then turned blue.
How was anyone to know a
girl would try to hug a boa?

Bowling in the bowling alley
was the end for our friend Sally.
She got a strike, and that was all.
Should have let go of the ball.

This lesson learned by Earnest
will keep you safe from harm:
Elephants like peanuts.
They also like your arm.

We may never know
what happened to Flo.
She was scrubbing the bowl with a brush.
She let out a yelp
and what sounded like, “Help!”
and the last thing we heard was a flush.

 — Kenn Nesbitt

Copyright © 2013. All Rights Reserved.

Reading Level: Grade 2

Topics: Epitaph, Halloween, Poems about Kooky Characters

Poetic Techniques: Alliteration, Assonance, Irony, Rhyme Schemes


Use This Poem

Would you like to use this poem in your classroom? Would you like permission to reprint, record, recite or broadcast this poem, or set it to music? Please click on one of the following links for permissions and reprint rights information: