Sit back and I’ll tell you of Tommy McTivver,
whose parents uncaringly made him eat liver.
I’ll try to explain, in a sensitive way,
why Tommy McTivver is not here today.

You see, when you serve up that rubbery meat
it smells like the sweatsocks of stinky old feet.
The room becomes filled with the hideous odor
of all the manure in the state of Dakota.

Poor Tommy was given a plateful of liver
which frightened the dog and which made the cat shiver.
But nevertheless Tommy did what was right;
he cut a big piece and he chewed up a bite.

Then what happened next is too horrid to tell;
his body went stiff and he shrieked as he fell.
The ambulance came and they drove him away
and promised to have him returned in a day.

The driver, however, drove right off the street
when he heard what Tommy had happened to eat.
The man accidentally drove into the river,
and all because Tommy McTivver ate liver.

So everyone died and I’m sorry to say,
this story could happen again here today.
So please, mom and dad, think of Tommy McTivver
and don’t make me eat one more bite of this liver.