This morning I was walking
past the local county jail
when I was captured by a pirate
just released on bail.
He took me to his pirate ship
and taught me how to sail,
and made me wed his daughter
who was covered by a veil.
We sailed the seven stormy seas
through hurricane and gale,
but while we were marauding
we were swallowed by a whale.
We soon escaped by torturing
the whale with a nail,
and floating to the shoreline
in an empty wooden pail.
An Indian then guided us
along a western trail,
and led us to a stagecoach
that was carrying the mail.
We all delivered letters
through the sleet and snow and hail,
until we found a train
and then we rode upon the rail.
I barely made it back to school
to tell you of my tale.
I’m sorry that I missed the test;
I hope I didn’t fail!