Brody the Custodian is always standing by
with a bucket full of sawdust and a twinkle in his eye
in the lunchroom while we’re eating, and we know the reason why;
just in case a student ever has to hurl.

If you eat the mystery meat, and maybe have the flu,
and you stand up feeling queasy and you really start to spew,
that’s when Brody brings his bucket, for he knows just what to do,
and he sprinkles out some sawdust with a twirl.

Covering the upchuck is his most important job,
so he drizzles every driblet and he blankets every blob,
for it’s easier to sweep it than to get his mop and swab,
and it also covers up the nasty smell.

Brody the Custodian will always clean it quickly.
If he didn’t, other students would be shortly feeling sickly.
They’d regurgitate and retch until the floor was covered thickly,
and it soon would be impossible to quell.

Honking on the tables with the fury of a comet,
all the students would be spraying streams of wet projectile vomit,
and there wouldn’t be a thing that anyone could do to calm it,
and the smell would carry halfway to Nantucket.

Luckily for us, though, we have Brody standing by
with his bucket full of sawdust and that twinkle in his eye
so we never need to worry, and our floor is always dry,
and we’re thankful we have Brody and his bucket.