My dog is not the smartest dog alive.
He seems to think that two and two is five.
He's sure Japan's the capital of France.
He says that submarines know how to dance.

My dog declares that tigers grow on trees.
He argues only antelopes eat cheese.
He tells me that he's twenty nine feet tall,
then adds that ants are good at basketball.

He claims to own a mansion on the moon;
a palace that he bought from a baboon.
He swears the sun is made of candy bars,
and says he's seen bananas play guitars.

It seems to me my dog is pretty dense.
He talks a lot, but doesn't make much sense.
Although I love my dog with all my heart,
I have to say, he isn't very smart.

--Kenn Nesbitt